I teach my children that we can make good food choices, to take care of our bodies and make them strong. I speak to them of the joy of our bodies and the amazing things they can do. I find opportunities to show them the feeling of accomplishment in doing something physically challenging (like hiking to a scenic lookout).
I want them to have joy in and appreciation for their bodies and never to believe they must change them in order to be happy. I want them to incorporate healthy eating and 'activities of living' in their lives- because that's just how we've always done things (not because "Mom's on a health kick again").
It was so hard last week when they wanted to share their treats with me. My 3 year old is so kind and couldn't understand why mommy was saying she didn't want any of his candy. He knew it tasted good, knew I would find pleasure in it and therefore wanted to share. And actually I felt like I was lying, in telling him I didn't want any of his candy. I did want some, but I wasn't about to try to explain why I "couldn't" have any. I don't want him to believe there are rules of eating that you have to live by when you are a certain weight or age.
My question to the universe and to all of you, what are the true rules of eating? I believe they are more limited in number than diet books lead us to believe and that they are unchanging- regardless of age and life situation. What are they? I genuinely invite your comments.
Here are my initial thoughts:
- We are meant to derive pleasure from eating and moving our bodies.
- If we want to enjoy life to its fullest, we must be mindful of what we feed our bodies and how we treat them.
The only "rules" we really try to teach our kids is are:
ReplyDelete1. To eat balanced diets. It is important to have some of everything, and not just fill up on 1 or 2 food groups.
2. Portion control. This one was never something I thought about until Mark and I got married. I never had to worry about it. I have always done it naturally because I hate the way I feel when I am stuffed. The kids that I had before this marriage, never had the problem of over eating constantly. They would sometimes, and I would chalk it up to growing and not think anything of it. However, now I have 3 kids who will constantly eat as much as you allow. It is like they have no willpower to stop. We have to set limits. We only allow seconds at dinner (however, their portion sizes allowed are large, and most of the time they out eat me... even though I am nursing and trying to get all the calories I can). With pizza we had to set a 4 slice limit (hello, that is still half a pizza!), since some of them would eat at least a whole pizza if we let them. They will sadly all have significant weight problems if they don't learn healthy eating habits. They see the yoyo dieting at their moms house. She is constantly on and off diets, and changes their eating every time she changes her own. I want them to see that there is a better way. None of them will ever be built like you and me, however if they stay consistent with their eating habits they will be able to be healthy adults.
I agree it's a great thing to teach kids variety in eating. I suppose it's a whole family venture in that regard. Parents work to plan and cook a meal that includes a variety of food groups and new foods within those groups and expect the children to at least try it (or at first simply tolerate it on their plate).
DeleteWhat a difficult thing to re-teach children to listen to their bodies, to respect when they are full. Difficult to teach adults too! Isn't it funny that some people just naturally do it and some have buried those cues so deep, it's hard to remember what it even feels like to be truly hungry and truly satisfied. I am certain it definitely starts as children. Teaching them to respect their body's natural cues is so good- Keep it up!
Another thing to teach them (more difficult) is the why or how to listen to their bodies. Not just the rules of how many helpings or slices, but how to tell that 2 helpings is adequate. For myself I have found that when I really pay attention to what I am eating, how it tastes, how it feels in my mouth, one bite at a time- I am much more satisfied with less. I think we eat so fast these days, or multi-task it, that we didn't get to taste the first 2 slices of pizza- so of course we want another one.
I took a cooking class at BYU. We talked about three reasons for eating. . .
ReplyDelete1. To nourish our bodies
2. To fill our stomachs
3. To satiate our mouths/minds
I believe that all three are valid reasons to eat. I think portion control and balanced diets are laid on top of these to help us understand when and how much to eat. I think that eating should be pleasurable and we shouldn't "have to" eat a certain way at certain times of life.
Excellent thoughts. I like the reasons to eat- It makes sense that all 3 should come into account.
ReplyDeleteIf we are filling our stomachs with things that don't satiate our mouths/minds- we will find it hard to stop, because we aren't satisfied.
If we are simply satiating our mouth/mind, but aren't taking any thought to nourish our bodies- we will feel poorly and lack the stamina we want for living life.
If we are nourishing our bodies in inadequate amounts to fill our stomach- we will be constantly hungry and mistakenly blame ourselves for lack of willpower- when really it's our biologic nature to rebel when we aren't getting enough.
Jennette, I wanted to ask you the same question! After all, you're the dietitian. :)
ReplyDeleteI get so confused by all of the information out there: The China Study, The Paleo Diet, the FDA Food Pyramid, and so on. All of the supposedly legitimate studies seem to contradict one another! I've come to the conclusion that most recommendations are based on economics: either the economics of selling a book, or the economics of our US agriculture.
Here are some things we do in our family:
Max loves green veggies and dairy, so I pretty much let him have what he wants!
Josi only likes carbs (breads and oatmeal mostly) and orange-colored food. I tell her if she will eat something dark green and two other colors of food then she can eat whatever she wants. Josi also has consistency issues so I regulate her fiber and she is lactose intolerant. (I think when she was in the NICU and on 18 antibiotics at the same time it killed some of the natural flora in her body.)
I eat 4-5x per day, limit myself to 200 G carbs per day (except Friday is pasta night and then Steve and I do a 4-6 mile run the next morning),and I check that my meal plans for the day combine to create complete proteins.
Just thinking of the meal plans is 50% of the work! What works with everyones delicate tummies? What foods do they find delicious? Are we meeting our nutrition goals? Then I still have to go grocery shopping and actually make dinner! Not to mention cleaning up afterward.
Why aren't there cheap and healthy restaurants?
Sadly I absolutely agree that most of the "nutritional information" we receive has a political/economical base.
DeleteYou are right that a meal plan is huge in making sure a well balanced meal ends up on the table most nights of the week. My poor family. They have a Dietitian for a mother, and thus have been put on a 6 week cycle menu (like a nursing home- ha).
I was debating the idea of cheap/healthy restaurants. Specifically cheap restaurants that provide an appropriate portion of food.
You know when you go to a high end restaurant and walk away absolutely satisfied without being stuffed? The food was delicious, the portions were just right and you feel great. Why can't we do that for cheaper?
Because people wouldn't come. Why is it that when we pay a lot of money we expect small portions and when we pay a little we expect as much food as we can get?
If I come up with the perfect balance, Jared and I will open a restaurant and you're all invited!
I am struggling so much with food lately...largely because we have been "fed" so much information about what is healthy and what is not that I get overwhelmed and feel like nothing is healthy lol. I am basically just trying to get in more fruits and veggies and more water. If I make a meal instead of eating out (not that we do that a ton during the week but still) I consider it a success for now. I am tired of feeling guilty all the time! We should take pleasure in eating, though we do of course want to fill our bodies with healthy things. I like that checklist a few comments up. I am going to put it on the pantry. :)
ReplyDeleteAbout 4 months ago I too came to a point where I just through my hands up in the air and asked, "what is truth?" I was so sick of everyone else telling me what I should believe, especially when those ideas were in conflict.
DeleteThis blog is part of my journey to truth, but the main conclusion I have come to is that human nutrition is insanely complex, but healthy eating is not.
The earth is set up to meet our nutritional needs. We don't even need to know that our tomato is a good source of lycopein. We don't need to calculate how much chromium might be in our apple. We just eat with balance, moderation and variety and wouldn't you know it- we get what we need.
I have a friend who says, "you can never get enough of what you don't need." That applies to eating as well as many other things.
ReplyDeleteLately I've been watching what I eat a little more because I found out I passed the gestational diabetes test by one point. I've been trying to stay closer to the gestational diabetes diet (more like 60 carbs/meal instead of 45 though, but I hope that will be okay since I wasn't actually diagnosed). (I passed up a piece of pie today because I knew there was birthday cake coming later. Usually I probably would've eaten both. It was a little victory.) Plus, since I am having a baby, I genuinely need to eat more often than usual because I get hungry by 10:00 am (that's what happens when breakfast is at 6:30 am) so I need to be more careful what I reach for. Usually when I am pregnant I eat whatever I feel like having, or whatever is in front of me (I'm going to gain weight anyway so why not eat what I want). But we all know a tomato is a better choice than a graham cracker!
Tina, you are right. Meal planning is a huge part of the battle! I too often find myself in the pantry at 4:30 pm looking for something that I can have on the table in an hour, rather than what makes a balanced meal. The time constraint stresses me out. On days when I have a meal already planned (yay for crock pots!) the entire afternoon goes so much more smoothly.
So, while we are supposed to get joy from eating, is eating ice cream every day true joy? Not for me, but once in a while it sure is great. We should eat what we feel our bodies need, but it is also a test God gives us to see how we will choose. Often I think that drugs, alcohol, and coffee are easy to avoid because I can avoid it alltogether. Those things aren't temptations for me. But we all must eat; we can't avoid it. So food temptations are harder to resist because you can't separate yourself from food.
The key is to find your own truth. Obviously, if you have an allergy to something, don't eat it! But it might be a regulary and healthy part of someone else's diet. If a food makes you feel really good after eating it (fresh salsa! yum!) then that's a clue that you can eat it more often. Perhaps we haven't been taught how to read our body's cues, or, we've been taught to ignore them. I think THAT is why we all struggle with what to eat. And finding balance in all things is also important. Because too much of anything isn't good--even water!
I agree with everyone here. Part of what makes choosing how to eat, or dare I say those nasty words 'choosing our diet', so hard is because society has has moved from agricultural to industrial. Information that used to be theorized between scientist for months or years,is now instantly spread across the internet as gospel truth or the 'new fad' before time and common sense has time to set things straight. Eggs are bad, no wait their good. All fats cause fat, no wait it's saturated fat, no make that carbs. Organic is better...no wait there's no nutritional difference. UGH!! whats the average consumer to think?
ReplyDeleteOn my personal journey I've come to believe certain things, so here are my RULES TO EATING:
1 - The word 'diet' has be highjacked! I refuse to stumble over my words when explaining to people how I choose to eat. It's my DIET. My daughters are 9 & 11, and I often tell them a diet is simply a word to describe what we choose to eat. We can have a poor diet, temporary diet, or beneficial lifestyle diet. I am never 'on' or 'off' a diet, I'm simply choosing what i will and wont eat. If the way I'm eating is not sustainable long term, then the results are just as temporary as the solution. Which leads me to rule 2
2 - I'm a fully capable of exercising my agency, and will not pass the consequences thereof off to some cosmic force out of my control. If I choose to eat junk - I own it. We live in a world of abundant choices - in reality - nothing is off limits until I choose to make it off limits. Now as parents it's our job to teach our kids our boundaries, then when they are adults - they can choose to keep it or not. For example - my mom loves to drink hot apple cider vinegar and swears up and down by it. As a kid it was the cure all. I won't touch the stuff now and don't give it to my kids. My Dad hates squash, I love it. I'm not a fan of processed junk foods, and don't keep the house stock with it, but I also don't hand out tooth brushes on Halloween either! I don't make a huge deal about it - I just let them know that it's junk. (Remind me to tell you about our Junk Day/Healthy Day experiment sometime!)
3 - When in doubt - Stick with the basics. I'm the first to admit that I don't know it all, but life has blessed us all with common sense, and I try to use it. Centuries of eating whole fruits veggies, proteins, and whole grains haven't produced harmful side affects yet so I figure there safe. Everything else - approach with caution and healthy skepticism.
BTW Jennette, I think it's that fact that your 3 year old loves to feed mommy like mommy feeds him. It's his time he's wanting to share, not the candy - place a bowl of bright colored berries, or whole grain cherioes in front of him and he still gets to have that sharing/ bonding time with mommy!
Good idea on feeding mommy berries as opposed to candy. We would both love that!
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